Being loved by my master, I feel extremely joyful. However, I don't agree with what she had done to me four years ago.
I had known Samantha since she was 7. I cannot forget the smile on the girl's face. That smile brightened my heart (even though I clearly know that I don't have one). With the exquisite piece of dress on her body, Sam looked like an angel. She was the nymph in my world. Her smile was pure, innocent and charming.
You may think that every little girl has that kind of smile. But, I am sure you are wrong. Samantha is different. For me, she is unique.
Starting from the moment that I saw Sam, I promised to myself that I am going to be with her all the time until she chose to leave me and throw me away.
Sam was a cheerful girl and that was certainly one of the reason why people liked to be with her. She treated me as her personal diary and her secret friend. She talks to me every night before she goes to bed. Sitting next to her, I usually listen carefully and whole-heartedly to what she is sharing.
Sometimes she talks about things happened at school. Sometimes she tells me her feeling towards some new friends. Sometimes she says something bad about her relatives.
There were times that Samantha only sits on the bed and looks into my eyes.
Believe me or not, her round eyes are full of content. I can read that when she does that, she is not in a good mood.
Are you asking what I did to relieve her pain?
The answer is too simple – I did nothing.
I just keep quiet and wait for the next day to come. I heard a sentence saying that "Even if you are sad, you have to move on as your life is still continuing.". It's my pleasure to be with Sam when she feels upset and doesn't want to face others.
You must admit that locking yourself inside the bedroom is a fantastic way of calming down. Then, you wake up in the next morning, take in a deep breath and you may feel your anger and sadness vanished without notice.
That's what happened on my dearest Samantha. She is back to normal the next day.
Nothing can keep constant all the time. Your habit and behaviour always change along the time.
Everything about me and Samantha had changed once she entered secondary school.
There was nothing change on the first or second school day. The problem was started on DAY 3.
That day was friday the 13th.
I am not the kind of people who believes in those superstitions (and I am not a human). Nevertheless, that day brought bad luck to me, to Samantha and to the whole family.
I remember when I looked at the sky that morning after Sam left home to school, the sky was covered by a huge grey cloud. I could tell from the weather that something bad was going to happen.
Things happened next proved my prediction was correct.
That day, she arrived home later than usual. I heard mum asked Sam for the reason. She didn't answer. Instead, Samantha headed straightly to the room and slammed the door using all her force.
I was shocked. So as all the members in the house. We all wondered what happened to Sam when she was at school.
Sitting on the desk next to the girl that door, I heard the conversation of mum and dad. They think things would become normal again in the next morning. But, I said "No! Don't you see that Sam is abnormal.". Of course, they couldn't hear my voice. They never do.
No one understand Samantha as I do. I was an omniscient professor in things related to Sam. I have slept in the same room with her for years already. I can read her mind from one of her single move. I swear I am not exaggerating. That's natural thing if you stay with someone for a long time.
And, as an expert of reading Sam's mind, it was easy for me to tell that Samantha had changed.
"Change", with the meaning of making differences, is the most ridiculous word in the world.
How could a person behave totally different in a short time?
Sam used to be a polite and cheerful girl. It's hard for me to believe that she ignored mum and her question. Her unruly behaviour caused the attention of parents, school teachers and ME.
Mum and dad thought she was having such strange behaviour because she was callow. They thought Samantha was their little girl who would never grow. Howver, according to my precise analysis, it was not the case.
At the beginning, I think it is because her workload is increasing and it was natural for her to feel stressed. Time goes by and I discovered that's not what happening.
The only reasonable explanation was something happened at school.
Day 3 of Samantha's secondary school life.
That was the day when some witches or wizards performed spells on Sam.
n the days after that day, things became even worse than before.
Samantha had arguments with her parents all the time. She was irritating and loved to pick on some little mistakes. She spent her time going out (instead of staying at home) and was not willing to do homework. The upshot was easy to guess, she got poor academic results.
Everytime when she came home, the sky was completely dark. Ignoring mum and dad, she entered the bedroom to have dinner alone and sleep.
Sam locked herself inside the room once she arrived home. She looked tired most of the time. I can see the dark-circles on her face was becoming larger and larger everyday. She felt sleepy all the days and easy to be annoyed by others.
I really worried about her. I had many questions created on my mind. But, what could I do? I'm just a teddy bear.
Luckily, no matter how tired she was, she spent time hugging me before she lied on the bed and closed her eyes. The embrace was the only communication channel between me and Sam. However, I didn't think my concern about her could be passed via the cuddle. As a result, I came up with a way to tell Sam how much I cared about her.
-- Writing letter.
You are right. I am a teddy that can move without human seeing me. We cannot be discovered by human. That rule was told by my parents in my childhood period.
When I was alone at bedroom, I jumped to the desk and wrote letter to Sam. Of course, I don't want her to know that I am the one who wrote her the letter. Therefore, I signed the letters using the name 'A friend who cares about Sam' instead of 'Gus'.
I was afraid that she would throw my letters away without reading it. My guessing was partially correct. Sam never read my letters. Luckily, she didn't throw it away either. When she saw the letter placing on the desk silently, she picked it up and read the cover of the envelope.
What she saw was the words 'To Samantha' on the top-left hand corner. She frozen for a while, staring at the two words written in black. To my astonishment, she didn't open it. Instead, she put the envelope into the drawer and locked it.
That is her personal drawer. I wanted to know what was inside but I never knew. Maybe there were something precious and meaningful for Samantha. I'm glad to see her treating my letter as her treasure even if she didn't open it. So, I made a decision to write a letter every week and place it on the desk. I was believing Samantha would be curious and read the letters one day.
I waited for weeks, months and years.
I was waiting like the baby penguins waiting for their parents to bring some food back and feed them.
That day didn't come.
On a day after two years since I started to write the letters, Sam was quarrelling with mum about money issue. I knew that she thought mum was overbearing and wanted to controlled her life (I got this from Sam when she was arguing with mum).
--What did Sam want money for?
When I was thinking about that question, Sam yelled loudly at mum before she entered the room and shut the door using all of her force.
She jumped on her bed and hid under the blanket and sobbed. I saw her shoulder moving up and down. I think she felt my sympathetic staring, she uncovered her blanket and our eyes met.
Her eyes were red and I could see the tears inside. Suddenly, I saw bright light in her eyes.
"Gus, you will help me, right?" Her voice was so weak. And COLD, as well.
Although that was a question, I was cleared that Sam didn't need my reply.
What happened next made me completely shocked. Samantha took the scissor from her desk and moved towards my direction.
-- Is this only my phantom or is this real?
I asked myself in the heart and I thought I could see a cruel smile on her face.
She cut open my belly, put a plastic bag holding some white powder inside. I wanted to know what's the white powder. I knew that's something bad.
I was curious about what's inside me but I couldn't ask.
The next day came, Sam brought me to her school. Started from that day, my role had changed from a toy to a tool.
People passed me from one's hand to the other's hand. They kept on cut open my belly and put something into or take something from inside.
You want to know what's inside? Me too. Finally, I got the answer when seeing those unfamiliar faces talking to each other.
That's drug! They are using ME as the tool for giving drugs.
I felt more desperate since the day I knew the truth, since the day I understood what made Sam became abnormal. Samantha was definitely addicted to the drugs. I hoped she would seek for help one day.
Guess how the story ended?
It was on a beautiful Sunday morning.
The police entered the room and I knew so fast that they were coming to brought me and Sam away. I didn't know why. Maybe some one betrayed the group.
They put me in a transparent plastic bag.
I could see mum was covering her mouth with her hands and dad was placing his hand on his wife's shoulder.
They could not believe what they were seeing. They could not believe what Sam had done.
I knew clearly I was leaving that house, leaving this family and my HOME. More importantly, I was leaving Samantha.
I could imagine her saying "I should've listened to my friend.". I could imagine how pleasure I would be to hear this sentence come out from her mouth.
But, all of the above were only imaginations. They were my wishes that didn't come true. I didn't hear what I wanted to hear from Sam on the last day that I met her.
Maybe what I had done to Sam was some abortive acts.
That was the end of a story about a girl and her teddy bear named Gus.